nostalgia

Looks like I won’t have to be depressed this summer. I got a slot in RRPI. It’s too bad for my holy week plans since the start of my SPP is on the 3rd of April.

Control - this is something that’s slipping away from my grasp. I’m losing control over my emotions and especially, my life. I’ve been failing at my goals. I’m actually at my plan D and it seems that too will end in failure. My professor doesn’t understand that being able to have my SPP at RRPI is more than the opportunity to learn. It’s an indication that I still have control over where I want to be. Just the thought of the possibility of not achieving plan D makes my emotions go haywire. I feel like everything is out of control. It makes me ask questions that I have never thought about. Does my outlook at life totally wrong? Do I give up and just take whatever reality throws at me? I know that my life can’t always go the way I have planned. But failing to achieve my goal every year is draining the spirit out of me. I have a plan E but I don’t know if I’ll go through with it. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Yesterday, my eldest brother bought a bathroom scale. I was a bit hesitant to try it at first but after a few minutes of staring at it, I decided to get on it. And I’m really happy that I did. I lost almost 2.5 pounds. Imagine that?! This weight loss has given me a new motivation to continue what I’ve been doing - less carb more exercise. 

This anti-mining campaign is really stressing me out. There are a lot of people who talk like they actually know stuff about mining. They make statements as if they understand how it is done. They yap and yap on how it only destroys the environment. Come on! Surely there have been shortcomings of the industry in the past but to put a stop to it won’t really solve the “supposed problem.” Instead of campaigning to put a stop to it, they should focus their efforts and attention to seek better ways on how to effectively oversee it and how the country and its citizens can get more out of the mining companies because RESPONSIBLE MINING works. They should help the government monitor the mining industry.

It’s upsetting that people accuse us that we’re only promoting Responsible Mining for profit and potential jobs. This is really more than that at least for the members of the academe. Putting an end to mining is an insult to everything that we are trying to learn and accomplish. In fact, there are a lot of opportunities for employment that give better and higher pay overseas compared to the salaries here in the country.

Let us all keep an open mind about mining. It does not always readily equate to environmental destruction.

What am I doing here?

Staring at the screen while holding a beer

Forcing myself to stay away

Yet I have a lot of things to say

I’m forcing myself not to care

Believing and thinking that I can bare

Oh what in the world am I doing here?

Writing this shit and lying about beer

I blame it on the lack sleep

And the on brown sugar I ate in heap

I woke up and my first thought was you

Wondering which of those things are true

Then a small pang in my heart came

It was supposed to be just a game

But I unknowingly fell in so deep and hard

When your heart was supposed to be one broken into shards

What the fuck am I doing here?

Thinking that I want to disappear

I’m not suicidal or anything like that

I value myself too much so I won’t make a cut

I think I’m okay for now

So I’ll be taking a bow

I don’t know how to make this shit end

Because sadly, we never parted as friends

I haven’t really blogged anything in a while. Although I’m planning on writing poems again once my acad-load lightens. I hope I’ll get in the mood one of these days. :)